Establishing a Positive Environment: Compliment Cubes

One of the areas I really wanted to work on this year was establishing respect and rapport in my classroom. It's pretty easy for me to display these traits, but second graders? Well, they need to be taught. Most second graders act quickly. It's the way their maturity handles it. As they get older, they are able to think more about a situation and naturally see it from different perspectives. For now, we have to provide opportunities for them to explore ways to express feelings every day in a considerate manner.

Enter the compliment cubes! My desire was to open up my littles minds into the power of compliments. Children seek these out. Have you ever seen a child work really hard on a drawing, then seek you out for you to say something about it? Or how about when you only pick three students to share their work, but after you have them put it in their mailbox, two others seek you out to show you how they solved it? Many young children need reassurance that what they are doing is okay - mistakes and all (because that IS okay!) - and that we approve of them and like them as human beings.

I discovered, however, that the compliments that these students liked to give centered around material objects.

I like your blue shoes!
I like your Taylor Swift folder!
Your kitten notebook is so cute!

You know those compliments. The compliments they default to, because it's easy, they mean it, and life is almost always about the toys you have, the price of your clothes, and the animals on your school supplies.

So we started out by having a lesson on compliments. I stated what compliments can be, gave an example, and then they came up with examples so that they could try giving compliments. Here is what we came up with:

If you can't read it, it says:

Compliments:

• How they are acting and how it helps (Thank you for working quietly. It has helped me concentrate.)
• How they are working to succeed (I like how you are reading quietly. I like how hard you are working at math.)
• What they do for you and how it makes you feel. (Thank you for inviting me to play. It makes me happy.)

I really, really wanted my kiddos to express how they feel during this, because it allows the recipient to see how their actions affect others. For example, if Sammy gives Sally (a student who likes to blurt) a compliment such as, "I like how you raised your hand today. It made me feel respected." then Sally is going to think twice about blurting next time. (See? Reverse psychology here.)

But I wanted a way to manage these compliments. More of a way to make sure it happened every day. So I introduced the compliment cubes. They are numbered cubes - sharpie marker which needs to be rewritten every now and then - (my littles have numbers assigned at the beginning of the year...makes EVERYTHING easier) that are placed in a bucket by the door. We established the correct times to grab these cubes, and the rules. As in...once you draw one, you cannot put it back because you don't like the person ;) Most of my students grab them during morning work time, while others might grab them during our Daily 5 or math stations time (where THEY are majorly responsible for their learning. We talked about self-reflecting and seeing if this is a good time to grab a cube or not.) The whole transaction takes MAYBE a minute per child, and usually has a snowball effect. At first I really wanted to control my snowball effect, but then I recognized the importance of establishing this community in my classroom. Usually the "snowball effect" calms down after 2-3 minutes and everyone gets back to work. 

When a student gives someone a compliment, they also give them their cube, and the recipient places their cube on the "tower" of cubes being collected by the whiteboard. I lost my picture, but basically, students just stack their cubes on top of each other. We discussed how we need to "build each other up" every day...hence the tower. Yes, I'm creative, I know :p

I was nervous that this wouldn''t latch on with my students, but the desire to receive compliments spurs the desire to give compliments. I even have a blank cube in there so students can give me compliments (which is the greatest thing, according to them), and I can give a compliment a day too. If I ever see the need to spur on compliments, I grab a cube and give a compliment, and soon a bunch of students are starting it up.

My kiddos don't stop at the compliment cube anymore. They did, at first. But now they are offering compliments even if they don't have the cubes! Their manners are wonderful, their behavior toward each other is so respectful...it's beautiful! I know that I taught them about this, but in the end, it's the kiddo's choice to learn and practice it. Young children are yearning to learn, so remember that you are the prime role model to teach them.

Love,

Mrs. Larson